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Love:

In the midst of a world changing right before our eyes and trying to master each and every one of our life goals, it seems silly to think that whenever my friends and I meet up we end up in a long “love is lame” or “ugh, boyz” conversation.

We talk about work, we talk about our goals, we talk about our self-image, but something about love always strikes a chord, and I don’t know why that is.
Is love what makes the world go ’round? What I do know is that it’s taken me a long time to say this out loud. Greater than my fear of not understanding everything about love is my fear of admitting I want to know.

Why is that even a thing I have to be worried about?
Why is an interest in love seen as inherently female, and even further, why then does that make it something not to be valued?
I am an accomplished adult woman who plans to continue knocking down every single one of my goals—oh, and also, I want to talk about tingly butterfly feelings and whether or not they mean anything.

You find out a lot about yourself after your first real heartbreak. I learned so much about myself that I hardly can recall who I was before it happened.
I find myself sort of like a new friend. One of the things I’ve discovered about me is something I didn’t have words for until I rediscovered this poem by Nayyirah Waheed: I am a brutally soft woman. That’s it. One affecting line.

I am not made to be hard, and I won’t spend any more of my life around people who cause me to put up armor. I don’t want to protect myself—I want to be around people who I don’t need protection from. I like myself soft and exposed.

I know it’s imperative to find someone who chooses us and acknowledges our many layers, who can be open and vulnerable, and most importantly, who is ready. To meet someone and be met. To be chosen and to choose.
To love and to be loved. This is everything. All we need is that same energy reciprocated, and despite how open and loving you attempt to be, people can only meet you as deeply as they’ve met
themselves. Don’t be afraid to be the one that loved the most and give everything you had, because you’ve got to find people who love like you do and who are ready. 
Out with the old, in with the true. Ready for summer.

Love – Faduma

 

 

 

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10 SELF-CARE TIPS FOR WHEN LIFE GETS HARD

 Happy spring… Happy Monday,

I wanted to take some time today to offer self-care tips for when life gets hard because that’s the time when self-care is the most important and when we usually let it fall by the wayside. 
I know how busy, and chaotic life can get at times, so today I wanted to share how I engage in self care in my personal life. I try to engage in one of the following ideas below on a daily if not weekly basis. Engaging in self care on an on-going basis really helps to reduce stress levels, not just when stuff hits the fan.
Let’s dive in

  1.  Unplug: In a world where we seem to be attached to our phones, social media platforms etc. Taking a break from your phone and giving your mind a break can be refreshing.

  2. Say No: If you feel that saying yes to projects or commitments that you are not in the space to carry out would add more to your plate, simply say no.

  3. EXERCISE: Just as sleep is important, so is exercise. For some, exercise is only about preventative health measures, but for others like myself it is also critical to my mental health. I am no longer using it as an escape, but as something that starts my day off on a positive note. I am able to channel whatever negative thoughts and feelings I have into an activity that improves my overall strength and clarity and leaves me feeling better than when I went in.

  4. Go to a coffee shop and  order your favorite drink: There’s something about ordering an almond latte from my favorite cafe that does something for me.

  5. See a therapist: There’s nothing like investing in your emotional health. It may be pricey, but it’s beyond worth it. Don’t be embarrassed about going to therapy either. There’s power and strength in feeding yourself emotionally to live your best life.

  6. Pray: My faith is the most important thing to me. It’s a driving force in how I live my life, and how I treat people. Praying, cultivating a personal relationship with my lord is a perpetual thing for me, and it honestly, just helps.

  7. Talk to a close  trusted friend or family member: Use discernment about who you share with and what you share. Again, why number 5 is so important.

  8. Make a dope playlist: Whatever speaks to your soul, sign into your iTunes, Spotify or music gallery and curate a self-care play list.

  9. WRITE: Even if you’re not a writer, get a notebook or journal to write about what is going on. If you are anything like me, your mind is racing a million miles a minute and you have a tendency to overthink every scenario. Spend a little time each day writing about your feelings, what is going on at that moment, and whatever you feel compelled to put on paper. Don’t worry about anyone reading it and just write. Even if you think that writing will be useless, do it anyway. I’m always surprised at what comes out when I start writing and the amount of free space in my brain after I am done.

  10. FEEL WHAT YOU ARE FEELING: This is one of the most important self-care tips. For many, many, many years I didn’t know how to feel my feelings. I ran from them at every chance I got because I was so uncomfortable. This led me to using anything I could to mask them. When I realized that I had to stop running, I had to learn what feelings, and how to specifically identify them.
    I know that any negative feeling is uncomfortable. No one welcomes sadness or pain with open arms, screaming “I CAN’T WAIT TO FEEL YOU!” The tough thing is, though, that we have to. By going through those feelings we come to terms with the situation, we learn from it, and we often come out stronger on the other side. The process is often the most painful, but not going through it can actually draw it out much longer.
     

These are just a few things I do when I need to refresh and take some time for me. Hope you found a thing or two on this list that you’d like to try. If you found this helpful, and think a friend would love it, please feel free to share!

Love,

Faduma

My 23andme Result

Have you heard of 23andMe? It’s the latest trend to catch fire around here and ironically right after having  a discussion with my mom centering around the desire to try a DNA kit,  23andme contacted me and asked if I’d be interested in trying it out.
Of course I jumped all over that because I was extremely interested in trying it, if for no other reason than to come back and share what the process was like and what 23andMe results look like with my family. Of course I have to share my 23andMe results with you too, so you can get a look at what the results reveal and what you might benefit from by doing it yourself!

Doing the 23andMe DNA test is very easy. Get started by ordering your 23andme kit from their website. You have the option of choosing either the Ancestry only kit or doing the health and ancestry kit for a higher price.

 

My 23andme results pretty much as expected, with no major surprises. It turns out I am 99.7% sub-Saharan African.
I grew up knowing that I was Somali. People always assume that I’m mixed with something since I’m light skin, but as you can see my result, I’ve 0% North African & Arabian in me.
A PROUD Somali girl!

 

There’s a ton of really fun reports that indicate how likely you are to have certain traits. I discovered the report indicated I was like lactose intolerant which is true (if you know me then you know I use almond milk on my coffee and cereal). It also indicated that I have the gene to smell the unique smell in urine after eating asparagus. How weird is that?!

I also discovered the reports indicated that I am not likely to be a deep sleeper which I find to be true as I wake up easily. Interestingly, it indicated that I am more likely to taste bitter. I also love salty food more than sweets so true. I’m so intrigued by how accurate, these reports have been! It’s seriously cool.

 

There are many, many detailed reports to view. You can also view them in a summary style, printable report. Above and below you can see some of my summarized reports. They are right on in their indication that I am unlikely to flush from alcohol, consume less caffeine and have more movement during sleep.

23andMe results also indicate if you are a genetic carrier for several different diseases. I was happy to see what diseases I carry and don’t carry.

23andMe also gives the option to connect with relatives you may not know you have. You can decide whether you want to reveal your identity and full name or remain anonymous. You can choose to connect with relatives and the report reveals the likely relation to you. I had a long list of  3rd or 4th cousins that I could connect with if I want to.

You can also choose to participate in research to help them identify more common traits among people with your similar DNA traits. By participating you’ll unlock additional reports as well!

Get started and find out what your DNA reveals about you! Do you have wet or dry earwax? Do you sneeze when suddenly exposed to bright sunlight? Find out these and many more surprising things revealed by your DNA! Get your DNA kit at 23andme.

LET’S TALK ABOUT LOVE, BABY

No romance? No problem! Celebrate love on your own terms.

Valentine’s Day is the notoriously pink and red holiday that celebrates l’amour, amore, L-O-V-E, baby. Only, it seems the kind of love that gets all the attention is romantic love, which is a real shame, because there are so many other types of love out there. As I’ve gotten older, I’ve realized that these are the loves that are just as worthy of celebrating.

1. Family Love

I am a firm believer in telling your parents, siblings, aunts, cousins and so on that you love them as often as possible. So why not in a special way on a day allotted just for loving?

 2. Food Love

More faithful than any romantic partner is food. Take Valentine’s Day to enjoy one of your favorite meals at one of your favorite restaurants or splurge on that one spot you’ve been wanting to try for forever. Either way, you won’t be disappointed.

3. Friend Love

In all honesty, Galentine’s Day is the only reason I get excited for Valentine’s Day. The relationships I have with my friends literally get me through some of my toughest days, and I love having this day to celebrate with them.

4. Self Love

And, the greatest love of all, as Whitney Houston put it, is learning to love yourself, and I’ll be using this Valentine’s Day to do just that. For my selflove day, I’ll be treating myself to a new book and fresh manicure.

About me

A long overdue blog post, but here is facts about me.

  1. I feel most like myself when I’m traveling and exploring new places.
  2. Out of all the city I’ve been to Milan is my favorite city.
  3. I’m a social butterfly, but I enjoy my privacy.
  4. Faduma Sahra (yes, I’ve two names. My dad named) is my birth name – when my mom was pregnant with me, my dad’s side of the family were expecting a boy, but my mom gave birth to girl #5 aka me lol
  5. My zodiac sign is Scorpio.
  6. I hate public transportation.
  7. I hate sleeping when I’m upset because I usually wake up in the same mood.
  8. I love taking afternoon naps.
  9. I clean and rearrange when I’m stressed.
  10. Regardless of what I’m doing, I always have a good time. I’m rarely ever bored.
  11. I would probably live in a used bookstore if I could.
  12. My mom is the only person in the world who knows exactly what to say to make me feel completely at ease.
  13. I always remind myself of this – nothing can change the qadr(what’s written) like dua (supplication)
  14. Math was my worst subject in school aside from history.
  15. I’ve been addicted to coffee since I was 17 years old.
  16. I knew I wanted to be a research scientist since 7th grade.
  17. I wasn’t a scientist, I would write children’s books.
  18. End of 2017 I left my professional job and started a nonprofit organization.
  19. Not knowing if my prayers are accepted terrifies me.
  20. Laughing and the outdoors are the best medicine for me.
  21. I’m vegetarian for almost 6 Years now.
  22. I love fashion and makeup.
  23. I rather eat savory than sweets.
  24. I don’t like chocolate.
  25. I love spicy food, but it’s difficult for me to eat because I’ve geological tongue.
  26. I love food, both cooking & eating.
  27. I’m very loyal but if you lie to me there’s no going back.
  28. I love hearing people talk about what they’re passionate about.
  29. To finish it off, I’m very ticklish, which means pedicures are hell.

Mall - my natural habitat :)

3-DAY SUJA JUICE CLEANSE

I usually make my own juice from scratch, but I decided to try Suja juice. I didn’t start juice cleanse to lose weight. My weight is the healthiest it’s been in 4 years, and I need my clothes to fit, so losing weight isn’t a goal of mine at the moment.

So Why in the world did I decide to do a juice cleanse? To be honest, I felt like a 3 day juice cleanse would really make me feel like I was cleansing and give me softer, healthier glowing complexion. I wanted increase my energy and oxygen levels and help to rid the body of toxins and waste that my skin has excrete in the winter.

The goal for the cleanse is that you literally just drink juice and water all day.  No coffee, no solid foods — just juice.  But let me tell you, it is a lot of juice

HOW DID I FEEL?  WAS I SOOOOO HUNGRY EACH DAY??

Three days in a nutshell…

Of course the first day was the hardest; mostly because I was experiencing oral fixation. I wasn’t too hungry, but I’m used to chewing. The one thing I missed (which occasionally made me think I was hungry, but not true) was something to chew and something warm.  It was definitely an adjustment to “drink” your calories each day, and cold calories at that.  I think cleansing is more difficult in the winter when everything is already cold, but in the spring or summer it would be refreshing.

97% of the time I felt awesome. I don’t know if it was related or not, but on the afternoon of Day 2, I had a pretty fierce headache that was really bumming me out.  It could have been unrelated, but I did decide to “cheat” briefly and drink a cup of almond latte, and then felt a little better.  Take that as you will.  I think in any sort of fast or cleanse like this, the second day is often when your energy dips as your body is getting used to the new rhythm.  But goodness, overall I felt incredible.  By the end of Day 3, I felt really refreshed, full of energy, lighter, and as cliche as it may sound, I just felt healthier.  And what’s more — that feeling has lasted over the course of a week!  I think that taking a few days to get out of the rut of a few bad habits (too much snacking, too much coffee, too much salt) really helped and encouraged me to stick with it afterwards.  So, bottom line… I felt great.

WOULD I DO IT AGAIN? I feel like I would love to do the 3-day cleanse maybe a few times a year.  Great way to start the year. I love having more energy.

Love,

Faduma