In the midst of a world changing right before our eyes and trying to master each and every one of our life goals, it seems silly to think that whenever my friends and I meet up we end up in a long “love is lame” or “ugh, boyz” conversation.
We talk about work, we talk about our goals, we talk about our self-image, but something about love always strikes a chord, and I don’t know why that is.
Is love what makes the world go ’round? What I do know is that it’s taken me a long time to say this out loud. Greater than my fear of not understanding everything about love is my fear of admitting I want to know.
Why is that even a thing I have to be worried about?
Why is an interest in love seen as inherently female, and even further, why then does that make it something not to be valued?
I am an accomplished adult woman who plans to continue knocking down every single one of my goals—oh, and also, I want to talk about tingly butterfly feelings and whether or not they mean anything.
You find out a lot about yourself after your first real heartbreak. I learned so much about myself that I hardly can recall who I was before it happened.
I find myself sort of like a new friend. One of the things I’ve discovered about me is something I didn’t have words for until I rediscovered this poem by Nayyirah Waheed: I am a brutally soft woman. That’s it. One affecting line.
I am not made to be hard, and I won’t spend any more of my life around people who cause me to put up armor. I don’t want to protect myself—I want to be around people who I don’t need protection from. I like myself soft and exposed.
I know it’s imperative to find someone who chooses us and acknowledges our many layers, who can be open and vulnerable, and most importantly, who is ready. To meet someone and be met. To be chosen and to choose.
To love and to be loved. This is everything. All we need is that same energy reciprocated, and despite how open and loving you attempt to be, people can only meet you as deeply as they’ve met themselves. Don’t be afraid to be the one that loved the most and give everything you had, because you’ve got to find people who love like you do and who are ready. Out with the old, in with the true. Ready for summer.
Love – Faduma